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Tuesday, September 30, 2003
 
Seeing a friend put up a new webpage reminded me that it has been a long time since I've visited my blog for an update. The truth of the matter is that I've been so busy between being a student and being a piano teacher that I've forgotten about certain things I used to do when I had more time online. It's okay that I don't have more time online than I do now, as my time online was getting to be too much.

Teaching eighteen students is a good thing. My bank account is healthier than it's been in a while but I have to admit that I get pretty tired at the end of the day. The good news is that I teach Monday through Thursday, not on Friday. All school activities also take place Monday through Thursday. Friday tends to be my ''me'' day where I recover, first of all from the craziness that would have been the first four days of the week, and also to catch up on things at home. And there are always lots of things to catch up on.

I enjoy teaching kids and most of the time things are well. I've experienced some injustice already with one family in particular. I spent so much time trying to help them in assorted ways only to have gone to their home twice and them not having paid me for services rendered. That wasn't good. Today, I felt a certain amount of strangeness in another house- they've been my customers for years but today I had a weird feeling and I'm not sure what to make of it.

Today was a weird day in general. Have you ever had one of those days where you just wake up, doubting parts of yourself? Usually I think that in certain areas of my life, I have good self-esteem, but this morning, it was very weird. The feeling has lasted all day. Not sure where this is coming from.

My dad seems to not be feeling well and this always sends me in a frenzy by itself. I always get very nervous when one of my parents seems to be sick. I guess from when we're little our parents are our ''foundation'' I guess. And when one of the parts of the foundation isn't that solid, it makes us feel shaky ourselves. I'm trying not to freak. I really am. I'm getting better at not freaking out.

Anyway, that's enough ranting for one day. I'm praying that tomorrow will be a better day. I always seem to write about things that aren't good. Last week, actually, last Wednesday, a piano student and her mother surprised me with a beautiful orchid. I had admired one that they have in their living room a few weeks prior and then they surprised me with one. I love it. It's gorgeous. It's so nice to be appreciated.



Wednesday, August 13, 2003
 
Well it's been quite a while since my last post, but I finally have something to say.

I guess since then, we took our relaxing trip to Asheville, NC and to the Smokey Mountains. We enjoyed the Biltmore Estate very much. We really needed this time away and I'm really glad that we were able to go.

This has been a good week so far. My phone is ringing off the hook with people wanting to take piano lessons. You have no idea what a dry spell I've been going through in this department so finally, I'm starting to get some really good results. My teaching schedule is starting to fill up, so my bank account won't be far behind (which is good because my account has been going through a dry spell as well.) I'm feeling very optimistic and am anxious to meet some of these new kids that I'll be teaching. I had one of those new kids today, a very young child named Lucy, who was a riot.

Dominique and her 7 year old son, Kaeden, came to visit me and Martin. It was so very cool to have them here. I've never really had a chunk of time to get to know Kaeden as I've only seen him on a few occasions. I met him when he was less than a year old I think, and the last time I had seen him was at his birthday party last year, but again, not enough to get to know him. Turns out he's the wisest 7 year old kid I've ever met. I was telling him and his mother about something I'm somewhat worried about and all of the sudden, he just said, "You know Martha? You just need to believe in yourself! And that's it! Period!" It was so appropriate, what he said, too. Wise and really well-behaved. It is really quite an accomplishment to have a child who is that cool all around.

It was good to see Dominique as well as she and I don't spend that much time together in person. I talk to her online most every day but it was nice to have her here and just talk and laugh and remember. I was telling Martin earlier how glad I was that she came because honestly, I don't get to partake in much live female conversation. Martin and I talk of course every day, and I talk to my parents, and my aunt who lives here too, but unfortunately, all of my friends live in other states or parts of Florida that are far from here and I just don't get to see them that often. I see Tara the most, and when I do see her or talk to her I really appreciate that time. It is really just a shame that I didn't have an easy time of making friends that are my age who I can just hang out with here. I really hate that. I guess I should make more of an effort here to get to know some more people.



Saturday, July 26, 2003
 
This was a good week. Wednesday was my birthday. I had a good day. In the morning, I went to have a facial at Nuovo with my crazy esthetician, Dee. That was very relaxing and refreshing and my skin looked really good after that. Amazing. I came home to find that my dining room had been decorated by streamers. That could have only been my parents, so I called them to accuse them of intruding in my house! Well, not really. It was sweet.

Anyway, I spent the afternoon conversing on the phone with my relatives who called me to say Happy Birthday. Lyanne called and my aunt Celia in New Jersey, who I hadn't talked to for a while, so we spent a long time on the phone. Martin had to work of course but I was content being in my house and being relaxed and getting ready for the evening.

We had a small birthday party here, just my family. I set up my table with a new, blood red tablecloth (I love red) and the night before, I actually made myself a small centerpiece which came out really cute. I was looking to have a lot of contrasting, bright colors and I think I accomplished that. Under the centerpiece I used some pink tulle all arranged cool and it looked really nice with two lavender tea lights next to it. I set the table with my good china and used bright yellow napkins to add even more color. And with the surprise streamers, it looked really festive. I love festive.

I barbecued some T-bone steaks that took about 2 hours to cook because sometimes my fire goes funny on me and everything burns really slowly. But damn did they taste excellent. It really was good. And then of course came the birthday cake - marble cake with buttercream frosting. It was super. I love the stuff. Publix rocks. I got some nice gifts and just really enjoyed my day. Astrologers say that the way you celebrate your ''personal new year'' sets the tone for the rest of the year. I think that I got off to a great start.

Anyway, last night, I went to the movies and dinner with Tara. Martin opted to stay home. He was very tired. So we went to eat first which gave us a chance to talk and such and then we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean, which I enjoyed. It was cute.

Today we're getting ready for our trip tomorrow morning. We have to pick up the rental car tonight and also pack up our stuff. I'm excited to go on this road trip. We haven't really been out of this state for a year, since we went to Nevada last July at around this time. I think a getaway is always a good thing. I'll be back on Thursday.



Thursday, July 17, 2003
 
Goodness what a strange day. I didn't do much, although there was much I could have done. Today was one of those days where I sat around contemplating and perhaps doing a little bit of worrying.

Just the same, I made a phone call today that I didn't want to make. Some of my very favorite relatives will be in Miami at their vacation apartment this weekend. They all want to get together and do a family reunion like thing. I can't go. My parents are going. I last saw these people in November 2001. Aside from not being able to go spend a little bit of time with them, it bothers me that I decided to lie about WHY I wasn't going. It's funny-they're my family, I love them, but I don't feel comfortable telling them exactly why I won't be joining them. It shouldn't be that way in an ideal situation. But if I were honest, I don't see what good could come of it. I don't enjoy being dishonest, but I know them well enough to realize that all that would come of it is gossip and more worrying. I'd like to prevent both. At least they weren't home when I called. I left a message on the answering machine. That made it easier because I know I would have been subject to twenty questions if I had gotten them on the phone, and I'm upset about it enough that I'm not sure I would have been able to control my emotions. It pisses me off too, because normally, I'm very ''there'' for my family. I really try to make myself available to them. It's important to me to keep in touch with them and be a part of their lives. Perhaps if Martin & I run into some money we can take a quick trip up there and see them and go to NYC for a weekend. (I doubt that this will happen but this is my way of trying to make myself feel better.)

You know, it wasn't that long ago that I was on planes constantly. NYC. Las Vegas. Germany. All over the place I was. Back and forth to Miami. I really appreciated that time. But I guess that with the getting married, buying a house, quitting my job and going back to school, my budget for such excursions has significantly decreased. My budget for a lot of things has decreased. If I wanted to increase my budget, I guess I could quit this school thing and get a regular job again. But as I was telling Martin at dinner, I either decide to follow my dreams and get this degree now or I'll never do it. There will never be a better time. So I guess I'd better shut up about it and see this time as a good opportunity. The money will come.



Tuesday, July 15, 2003
 
My brow wax/facial person who I go to is a very eccentric but very cool person. I really enjoy her because she is very unconventional. She sees things from quite a different perspective than many of us. I really enjoy people like this, in fact, when I see her, she reminds me of Dominique. Her name is Dee. And while I was waiting for her, I heard this story coming from one of the two reception people. One was a man named Miles and I didn't catch the woman's name.

Miles: I still remember the first time I met Dee.

Random woman: Oh yeah?

Miles: Yeah. I said, ''hi, my name is Miles. Then she said, ''Hi Miles, my name is Dee for distance!''

Get it?

I thought that was funny. But the truth of the matter is, is that whenever I go there, I always end up laughing.

Tonight we had a really good dinner. My aunt made this filet mignon that was out of this world, along with red potatoes that had all been marinated in red wine over night. She also made rice that had butter, mushrooms and parmesan cheese in it that was really good. A lot of energy spent for someone who's 87! Anyway, we all appreciated her effort and we enjoyed the meal a lot.



Monday, July 14, 2003
 
I'M SO TIRED TODAY! I literally was running around all day today. Last night when I was having dinner with my parents, Martin and two friends, they were talking about going to work in the morning and I said, gee, I have nothing to do tomorrow. I was kind of looking forward to a peaceful day. But it didn't turn out that way at all. It was wicked busy.

In the last few days I've been working up a storm for my piano studio business. I put together a website for my piano studio, which was quite a project but feels very rewarding that it's done. I registered a domain name for it and as soon as the whole registration process goes through, I'll share it here. I'm very excited about it. Last week, I also typed up a newsletter for my studio which ended up looking really cool. Martin finished printing it for me today and it looks great. I mailed some off today to my current and prospective students. I hope all my efforts lead to good results. I really feel quite a lot of energy to improve, improve, improve you know?

Speaking of improving, I have three Schubert pieces to memorize. Notes memorized. German not memorized. That needs to change very soon. Like tomorrow, I'm thinking. It was supposed to get done today but funny, I had an unexpectedly busy day.

Tomorrow my 87 year old great-aunt is hosting a dinner at my house. Which I guess means that I'm hosting it too. No particular special occasion, it just happens to be that she has this really spectacular filet mignon recipe that she told me about. When she was all in the hospital and nursing home for the second time, I said to her, listen, when you get out, you need to teach me how to make this stuff and have a dinner. So that's tomorrow. I think she's happy to have a project.

Next week is my birthday. I'm getting old. But you know what? I don't feel old. I've scheduled an early facial for myself (which I always enjoy) and I'll probably go to my voice lesson (because it falls on a Wednesday and I'm not sure that having a birthday on the day of your lesson is reason enough to cancel) and you know, what better thing to do anyway right? I love facials and I love to sing, so those both sound like good activities. Later on that night when I get home I'm going to barbecue some T-bone steaks that I have waiting in the freezer and have my family over. I love birthdays because they mean marble cake from Publix. I love the stuff.

Anyone been to Asheville? I'm heading to NC and to the Smokey Mountains at the end of the month. I'm going to visit the Biltmore Estate and the Smokeys National Park of course and I'm excited about it. I've only been on the I-95 side of NC before on my way to Jersey. So I'm definitely looking forward to that. I hear that at Biltmore, they have a lot of roses there in summer, and a winery and an impressive house so I think that I'll enjoy that immensely.

By the way, my rose bush rocks. Every day this week I've been able to cut some flowers off of it and put them in the bud vase on my dining room table. Yay!



Friday, July 11, 2003
 
So for the last few months, we've been paying for DSL by Verizon and maintaining my mindspring account active as well, basically because we have been waiting for Verizon to finally fix their webpage where one can upload your own webpage. I called tech support the other day but they weren't helpful at all. So to eliminate this expense, we've transferred the site over to a different host, but now we've got all the annoying banners all over the place and I hate that. I promise I'll keep checking at Verizon to see when they get their act together. Yesterday when I looked at the site there was a pop up ad over my blog and it made me gasp. So anyway, one day, I'll be able to get this looking ''normal'' again.

Thanks to Martin though for finding the solution to not having to pay $22 extra month just for the site.

Otherwise, not much has been going on this week. I've basically been practicing a bit, messing around online and continuing to read up on feng shui. I've still been going on my walks, which is good, although I'll be glad when the weather cools down again. Ok bye!